the challenge ~ to still expect that never give up kind of love in-spite of broken hearts…
How to Avoid Fake Love & Other Dating Nonsense (Video)
I remember, shortly after my divorce, love and laughter were everywhere. And I remember how I just wanted to run. Cause it’s not like others cried because I cried or fell out of love because I had fallen out of mine (or maybe I was pushed out). The point is life goes on. Even when stuff happens to make you feel like you are out of step with time and everyone around you. Life. goes. on.
And I Learned To Go On Too
But funny thing is — in private it was the love songs that gave me hope. Not all of them, but I do remember Kem’s music feeling like that last chance for me to dream. At that time I couldn’t see past my own aches. And I tried to, but my vision was blurry. Might have been the tears. Might have been the flashbacks.
Regardless, I was used to dreaming years into my future. But back then I couldn’t see pass the moment I was in. Just enough vision to survive the day.
But real love…
It was something I couldn’t escape. I have always been surrounded by couples.
So by accident — at least in my mind — I started collecting the love stories. I mean, I Iistened to the horrors. And it made me feel less crazy because bad things do happen — the twilight zone sometimes becomes real life. But I collected the love stories to save my future love life and current broken heart.
My favorites are the couples that stand the test of time — surviving with that never-give-up kind of love. The old loves with the fresh fire still burning strong. I am attracted to how love finds a match — to how they stack hope over pain, to how their connection survives another day.
When I heard about how my parents (41 years of marriage so far) first met, I was intrigued how two young African Americans managed to bump into each other in the middle of a revolution. It was the 70’s. They were in their 20s and wanted a bigger life than the ones they came from. She was pursuing her version of it. He was pursuing his. She, from North Carolina. He, from Georgia. Yet, they met in Virginia.
Want to see my spoken word and dance interpretation of that moment? Video below
I try to see…
I try to see what she had on walking into that job interview — downtown Richmond, VA during a time when the Vietnam War was on. A point in history when blacks where defiant just for wanting equality.
I try to imagine how he looked at that desk — a young man building his sales crew. What he must have thought underneath that suit. He said once when it came to sales it was less about black and white and more about green.
I know love stories. And the real life ones, like my parents, have a lot of grit in them, a lot of hell and high waters to overcome. Cause it takes some real wisdom and strength to recognize and love the right person at the right time for the long haul.
Never give up or the real thing
Just make sure you’re bringing the real thing to the dating table. The version of you that’s working on something more. The version of you that’s learning how to forgive. Cause it looks like every relationship needs that.
SHOUTOUTS: The film is an excerpt from the Hot Prayers Launch Party (amazing night). Thanks to the Videographer, Keesha Hooks with KVP Images; and the Choreographers/Dancers: Kenya Boston & Quintavious James. More shoutouts to come.